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To activate IPFW in a FreeBSD machine without having to recompile a kernel, you can add the following lines to /boot/loader.conf (you may need to create it if it doesn't exist):

net.inet.ip.fw.default_to_accept="1"
ipfw_load="YES" Copy

On the next reboot, your machine will have ipfw loaded and will default to accept.  (if you had run kldload ipfw the default rule would be deny and you'd be locked out of your machine so be warned!)